1) Read "My Two Lives" by Jhumpa Lahiri
2) View the TED Talk, "Do not ask me where I am from, as me where I am local,"
again.
3) Blog: How does Gogol define himself according to the three Rs: Relationships, Rituals, and Restrictions? How would Lahiri?
4) Journal - Take a sheet of paper in your journal and create the three column list of the three Rs as they pertain for you. Then, compose a brief response dealing with your reactions to the activity. Finally, develop a brief statement that answers the statement "Where are you local?" Be prepared to share some of this on Thursday.
Kaby Maheswaran
ReplyDeleteGogol's three R’s are a direct reference to his locality with Cambridge, MA and Bengal in India. He may display Bengali rituals, from eating traditional bengali foods to speaking in Bengali during his home life. This however may significantly change at school or around his peers who are mostly unfamiliar with Bengali traditions. He may resort to eating common american meals and referencing american lifestyle, leaving his Bengali culture behind. Relationships for Gogol would be a large part of his locality. His parents, who have been rooted with one culture as their original, would be the bridge for Gogol with the Bengali culture. Gogol has no personal knowledge of Bengali culture therefore his parents are his source of understanding the world he is part of. His close friends and neighbors may also impact his locality. Gogol does not have parents who have been well versed in common American customs, forcing him to learn on his own from those near him. Restrictions that Gogol will experience come from his immigrant life, his inability to have a clear definition of his identity. Being torn between two strikingly different worlds, Gogol is restricted from truly being at home in Cambridge or in Bengal. I think Lahiri would have a list of rituals, relationships, and restrictions that are quite similar to Gogol who is living through the same second generation immigrant experience.
In the beginning of his arc, Gogol believes that he is only local in Cambridge. He clearly wants to separate himself from his parents and their culture. This feeling is only emphasized when he and Sonia feel so out of place in India. He has known nothing but experiencing American culture, yet his parents' status as immigrants separated him from his friends. His three R's are apparent in Cambridge; he has relationships (friends and girlfriend), he has rituals (such as school, listening to music, etc.) and he has restrictions (He feels disconnected from Indian culture because he grew up in America). However, if Gogol were to measure his life in terms of the three R's, he would find that he is also a local in Calcutta. He has family there, his home life is defined by Bengali traditions and his heritage prevents him from feeling completely a part of American culture. This realization in which Gogol gives Calcutta credit for being a large part of his identity, to me, was at his father's funeral. When Max means well but ultimately can't understand any of the traditions that Gogol takes part in with is family, Gogol seems to take a step back and see that his culture isn't a bad thing, it is just a part of him no matter what, and he can't erase it. As a watcher of the movie, it felt like a relief when Gogol finally broke up with Max because it seemed like he was pretending to be something he wasn't in order to be with her. The complexities of identity faced by a second-generation immigrant are not overlooked by Lahiri, who could relate a lot to Gogol.
ReplyDeleteI think that Gogol throughout his formative years, wanted so desperately to only identify himself as American and suppress the Bengali part of him that he wanted to hide. But once his father dies suddenly, Gogol kind of has an epiphany of what truly matters. He realizes that the Bengali aspect of his life is not a burden but something that connects him to his parents and now his dead father and he feels he let his father and family down by blocking them out in his life. I think that he realizes that he doesn’t have to be either or, he can be both and find a happy balance. Maxine was a representation of his over compensating for an American life. He realizes he doesn’t need to try to be so overly American, he can be American but also Bengali. Jhumpa Lahiri seems to have undergone a similar struggle and when she was younger she didn’t quite know how to balance the two cultures that permiated her life. But as she grew older she realized the importance of the impact her family has on her and also where she grew up. I think that like Gogol, they both consider themselves local to both their American hometowns, but also with the Bengali families they have grown up around.
ReplyDeleteI believe that Gogol lacks a strong sense of identity in the same way that Lahiri does. He too is lost in between the gray area of the cultural blacks and whites of the Bengali way of life and its Western counterpart. Somewhere within Gogol there is a clear desire to renounce his heritage, to fully Americanize and reject the ways of his parents, yet later we see him fully submit to it when his father passes away.
ReplyDeleteThe moment that he shaves his head is when he changes his conception of himself and his family. He is now reborn as something new, fully autonomous while embracing the two sides of himself without fear of rejection. This struggle has been the shameful core of his self conception which he has for so long denied, now must be expressed.
This is likely because of his strong familial bonds, which once seemed shaky, are now clearly emphasized. He has now tied together those broken strands of himself by accepting their rituals, and our own, and in turn those fibers have woven him into a stronger man through their synergistic cohesion. He has become culturally uniform by allowing the divergences to exist within himself as fragments of the whole being. In doing so he has broken down his greatest restriction, his own mind.
Gogol: Relationships- his parents remind him of India.
ReplyDeleteRituals- eating custom Indian food; following Indian traditions
Restrictions- his struggle with his name; physical appearance; going back and forth between Indian and the U.S.; trying to fit into Max’s (the American) style of life.
Lahiri: Relationships- “While I am American by virtue of the fact that I was raised in this country, I am Indian thanks to the efforts of two individuals.” She has a strong connection to her parents that they are the ones who make her feel Indian.
Rituals- “followed the customs of my parents, speaking Bengali and eating rice and dal with my fingers”.
Restrictions- physical appearance; born in America; visit Calcutta frequently for a long period.
Gogol and Lahiri had been in the grey area between being Indiana and American, and they both wanted to stay away from their parents’ traditions. Thankfully the two came to realization that one can have both cultures. It's your own choice.
I think that Gogol and Jhumpa Lahiri actually have some things in common when it comes to where they are from, especially towards the end of their noted journeys. At the beginning of Gogol's arc, he tries so incredibly hard to Americanize himself; smoking and going through that rebellious teenager phase, especially in changing his name from Gogol to Nikhil. His relationships are with his girlfriend and his friends which makes him American, but he also has a strong relationship with his parents and sister, even though he wouldn't like to admit that as a defining part of him. He also has direct ties to both Cambridge, MA and Calcutta. As Kaby said, I agree that his restrictions come from being an immigrant and always feeling like he doesn't belong. Once Ashuke dies, I don't think these restrictions just disappear, but I think it helps Gogol but things into perspective and allows him to find a sense of belonging in both locations: Cambridge and Calcutta, especially due to the strengthened family ties. I think Lahiri also spent her life on that same line, feeling torn between two sense of self. Today, Lahiri would probably view herself, as she said, as Indian-American. And similar to Gogol, I think that Lahiri is no longer frightened to show her American side to other Bengalis or her Bengali side to other Americans.
ReplyDeleteGogol:
ReplyDeleteRelationships - his parents and their connection to India, his sister who grew up in the same family life as him, his girlfriend, Max, who embodies the culture he always identified with most
Rituals - following Indian traditions, returning to Calcutta with family,changing the way he acts and carries himself depending on if he's with Indian or American company
Restrictions - feeling like there isn't a place for him because he's "too Indian to be American and too American to be Indian," having to change his persona based on the people surrounding him due to a fear that he'll be alienated
A local of Cambridge and Calcutta.
Lahiri:
Relationships - parents, American friends
Rituals - following her parents' customs at home, being an average American student in school but with exceptions
Restrictions - "pressure to be two things, loyal to the old world and fluent in the new, approved of on either side of the hyphen," hiding each life (the Indian and the American) from each other
"While I am American by virtue of the fact that I was raised in this country, I am Indian thanks to the efforts of two individuals." A local of Rhode Island and Calcutta.
I feel like Gogol’s identity changes throughout Lahiri’s story in various ways. His relationship is with his parents/family in India as well as with the people he interacts with in America such as his girlfriend Max. These relationships are also a part of Gogol’s locality and they embody very different connotations because Gogol has been shaped by two very different places. Similar to Jhumpa Lahiri, Gogol grew up with the rituals of his Indian heritage, but he was also living in a place his parents did not grow up in and therefore might not have understood so well leaving him to discover where he belonged or fit in. I would say his rituals are, as others have said, eating traditional Indian food and visiting Calcutta. His restrictions are figuring out how to find harmony between his two cultures and, as Kaby said, having a hard time discovering where he belongs. I think that Jhumpa Lahiri would define herself with the three Rs in a very similar way. Her relationship lies with her parents who helped shaped her identity as well as her relationships with her American friends. Her rituals would also include visiting India, speaking Bengali, and seeing her parents as they are “a steadfast presence in [her] life.” I think Lahiri’s restrictions, like Gogol’s, would be feeling out of place and caught between two cultures that make up two different people as well as living in a world “[her] parents had little knowledge or control of.” I feel that Lahiri as well as her characters all share this struggle of figuring out where they belong, but I also feel that through her stories, Lahiri emphasizes that as an immigrant, one shouldn’t hide from or be ashamed of their different culture because it is the foundation to their identity.
ReplyDeleteLike Rory said, I believe that Gogol changed some of his “R’s” as he matured. I think in terms of Relationships, he has a strong relationship with his parents and sister. By keeping his name and not wanting to change it when he started Kindergarten, he proved that he still had a tie to the name his family gave him, a name that tied him to Bengali culture. However, as we saw in the movie yesterday, these relationships slowly deteriorated as he moved away and pursued a more “American” relationship with his girlfriend. His immediate family tied him to India through their background and to America through their choice to move to the US. His girlfriend and her family tied him to America, and gave him a full American life that he never got as a child. In terms of Rituals, especially in the movie you can see him continuing Indian rituals (Cutting his hair after his father passes, the funeral ceremony, going back to India, etc). Before this, however, most of his rituals tied him to the US (Being a typical American teen, listening to loud music, being a bit more disrespectful towards his elders, etc). I believe his teenage years and incorporation of more American teenage rituals was a bit overblown in the movie, though :) I also think he’s restricted, especially as he grows older and is more aware, of the fact that he’s tied between two cultures. He doesn’t feel at home in India, and doesn’t feel “American” enough in Boston/New York. I think Lahiri would define herself similarly. She is strongly tied to Bengali culture, mostly through her parents, but has incorporated new, American relationships and rituals into her identity. She feels like she straddles the two cultures, not fully a part of one or the other. I don’t think anyone can be from just one place- Rather they meld together the places they’ve lived, traveled to, have family from, and the places that they feel a part of their heart belongs.
ReplyDeleteSosha
Gogol is an interesting character, escpecially because of his Indian-American lifestyle. While he practices the Bengali tradition and rituals while at home, he also lives a more American lifestyle at school and with friends. Gogol is considered local in Calcutta and in Cambridge, MA. Because of this, he has Rituals, Relationships, and Restrictions that pertain to both places.
ReplyDeleteFor his rituals, he eats traditional Bengali foods, eat his rice with his fingers, and speaks Bengali at home with his parents. This changes though when he leaves his home. He speaks English, eats basic American food, and does whatever a normal American teenager does. For Gogol’s relationships, his parents are what root him with his Bengali culture. They are his relationship with Calcutta. He doesn’t feel that same nastolgia when visiting India, because he wasn’t raised there, and therefor doesn’t feel at home wehnever he visits. Even though he is local there, it is not his home. His Restrictions, i think, are a little bit harder to pinpoint. He participates in all of the rituals, and has the realtionships that connect him with his culture in India, but I think the because he was raised in America, away from the origin of his culture, he is restircted in the way that he will never be able to feel fully Indian or fully American. He will constantly be torn between these two contradictng identities, when can be both good and bad. He can embrace both cultures, living his life to the fullest with influences from both places, or he can continue to feel confused and torn between the two.
I think that Jhumpa Lahiri is in the same situation as Gogol. Both of them are second generation imigrants, so their parents are heavily tied to their life in India, and their culture. Lahiri would most likely have the same Rituals, Relationships, and Restrictions as Gogol
Gogol’s strong relationships are with his family, friends and girlfriend. While his extended family mostly exists in Calcutta and his parents follow such traditions, his sister, friends and girlfriend follow the American culture. Some of his rituals include the presence of Indian food and practices at home, and also the presence of America in his daily life through music and his education. Gogol often adapts his rituals based on what setting he is in. His restrictions are never being able to feel totally comfortable in either culture. In India he cannot escape his American ways, but in America he still feels out of place.
ReplyDeleteLahiri’s R’s are similar to Gogol’s. Her relationships are with her parents, husband and friends. Her rituals include practicing Indian culture at home through food and language, but also having a very American education and speaking English fluently. Her restrictions are the constant struggle between the two worlds, never feeling Indian enough for India or American enough for America.
Cat Weiner
In both the Namesake film and the short story “Gogol” by Jhumpa Lahiri, the three Rs are prominent in Gogol’s life. The relationships seem to be a large part of the Bengali culture. First shown in Gogol’s parents arranged marriage, the relationship dynamics are very different than the ones I am used to in the United states. It is clear that over the years they have come to love each other, yet they never show affection in front of others. A good example of this is when they are on a family vacation holding hands but they stop when their children walk over. Gogol is also expected to marry a Bengali women picked by his parents. They tell him do whatever you want in college, but you better marry a Bengali. The discomfort is palpable when Gogol brings Maxine to meet his parents because she does not know any of the culture. There are also many rituals displaying the Bengali presence in Gogol’s life. Almost every aspect of his home life is different from what I know. One thing I thought was interesting was the wearing of white to his father's funeral instead of the usual black, and how Gogol shaved his head as is custom with the death of a family member. Also, when the family goes to Calcutta to scatter the father’s ashes the rituals are very set in place. There are many restrictions in Gogol’s life that I have never had to face. Some of these go back to the relationships, like the expectation of an arranged marriage to a Bengali. There are also restrictions with following certain cultural norms and expectations. The heavy presence of the three Rs in Gogol’s life is part of the struggle he faces to define himself. Similar to what Lahiri writes about in “My Two Lives”, he cannot define himself as strictly American or Bengali. Throughout his entire life Gogol struggles with his identity and almost tilts towards a more American identity in his early adult life. However the death of his father serves as a shock and causes Gogol to rethink his change.
ReplyDeleteGogol's ties to his Bengali culture are through his parents. When he is around them he speaks Bengali, is aware of the intimacy he shares with his girlfriend, and he responds to the name Gogol. This is juxtaposed to how Gogol acts around his non immigrant friends, specifically Maxine. With Max, Gogol is called "Nick", he calls her parents by their first name and has no problem with PDA. I agree with Rory that his father's funeral was the moment in his life where he realized the importance of Bengali rituals had in his life. We are able to see the shift in his priorities, he shaves his head, breaks up with Max, and ultimately gives himself over to the Bengali lifestyle in the wake of his grief for his father. The restrictions of his identity have always been a major point of inner conflict in his life. He was too American for India as he wanted to run in the streets and listen to Rock and Roll, but he was too Indian for America with a name like Gogol/Nikhil and parents who clearly practice different customs. I believe he shares a lot in common with Lahiri, as most of her characters do. A major theme of her novel Unaccustomed Earth is that balance between the heritage and locality, and how growing up as an immigrant or child of immigrants affects your relationships and life. Writers are told to write what they know, and this is why Lahiri's stories feel so natural and true.
ReplyDeleteGogol has a rather weak relationship with his family since his parents are from India and they do not follow the customs of American families. They do not speak english very well, they dress differently, and they act differently. Ashima’s lack of driving skills after a long time in the United States shows that she will never be fully assimilated into American culture. Gogol identifies more with his friends from school and his girlfriend's family because he can identify with them and relate to their similar experiences growing up in the United states. There are two sides to Gogol’s rituals, his American rituals and his Indian ones. I think that Gogol is quite embarrassed of his Indian rituals and wished that he could have grown up with American rituals. For example, he is extremely embarrassed when Max comes over to see his parents because all the acceptable actions like touching and kissing are frowned upon by Gogol’s parents. When he is with Max’s family he can do all the things he was never able to do as a kid such as have birthday parties and birthday cake. The main restriction for Gogol is the way that people judge him because of his ethnicity. Although Gogol is fully American and has lived in the United States his whole life, people like the woman at the party still ask, “so when did you move to the United States?” Even though Gogol shrugs these comments off easily, it must get frustrating for him sometimes. I think that Lahiri would mostly agree with my three R’s. Her’s might be slightly different since she knows what it is like to be an Indian in the United States more than I do.
ReplyDeleteI think as readers we see Gogol struggle with his identity and therefore his Indian R’s vs his American R’s and which ones he wants to be identified with. As an Indian- American Gogol is stuck between two worlds, not completely fitting into either. In the beginning of the story we become familiar with the Indian side of Gogol, with rituals such as pet names and good names, eating Indian food, and participating in Indian traditions especially when he visits his family back in Calcutta. As for relationships it is obvious his immediate family and relatives in Calcutta are who he surrounds himself with the most through his childhood. For restrictions we see that his good name restricts him from being called his pet name which he wants to be referred to in school. As he grows older he tries to fit more into the American culture changing his relationships to those of his girlfriend's family, he also americanizes his rituals by changing his name and then taking it a step further and going by the American nick name “Nick”. Unlike his own family dynamic he also calls Max’s parents by their first names. However his restrictions tend to stay the same, his appearance, good name, and family cause him to always be tied to Indian culture no matter how hard he is trying to appear fully American. We see that Gogol will never be able to escape his Indian identity fully and vice versa, will never be considered fully Indian. It is a tough place to be in but Gogol definitely has the opportunity to use his R’s to his advantage. As Lahiri’s culture is extremely similar to Gogol it goes hand in hand that she has many of the same R’s. It is mentioned that she is very close to her parents and they were the ones that enforced her Indian background. Although Gogol strayed away from his parents in his young adulthood he was also close to them as a child. For restrictions Lahiri also has a different physical appearance than most Americans and her name is quite different as well. Just like Gogol she is very accustomed to growing up in a family where the language of Bengali is spoken. She also eats native foods, and visits Calcutta for long periods of time. Unlike Gogol I think Lahiri instead of trying to change her R’s to a more americanized version was able to use her two cultures to her advantage.
ReplyDeleteI believe that Gogol would define himself more as an American than an Indian. He is a son and a big brother, he practiced the indian traditions his parents grew up with and taught him as a child but as he grew up he lost touch with those tradition and formed his own within his relationships outside of his home. When he was in India he felt like a foreigner as he spoke with an American accent and wore American clothes and wasn't able to fully understand the more conservative traditional culture. Yet, in America he was a foreigner too and seemed to hide the Indian side of himself from others, which much like Lahiri said in “My Two Lives”, one plus one equalled zero for him. His two localities were in constant imbalance with eacher, canceling each other out. I think that Lahiri would define herself the similarly to Gogol. She is a daughter, and Indian American. But overtime she became more in touch with and more connected to her rituals from childhood, from India, and her one plus one did equal two. Two halves of herself that she seems to be completely at peace with and in love with.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGogol is neither American nor Indian. His parents are undoubtedly Bengali while he was born and raised in the United States. As we see in The Namesake, this juxtaposition of two entirely different cultures leaves Gogol caught in a precarious position where he is constantly questioning his identity. At home his relationships are entirely Bengali and he follows customary Bengali rituals such as not touching during greetings. But outside of school, his friends and girlfriend are all American and he must assimilate into their culture as well. The result of being caught in this Catch-22 is that Gogol is highly restricted in terms of his identity as he is never able to evolve into a "true" American or Indian. In no arena is this contrast better shown than Gogol's struggles with his name. The fact that Gogol was not even supposed to be his official name as a child, that he had it changed to Nikhil, and only then realized the significance of his original name shows the chaos of this entire process. Lahiri likely identified with this struggle herself and her own attempts to maintain just the right balance of Indian and American in her own life.
ReplyDeleteIt is evident that Gogol is initially discontent with his Bengali heritage, and in order to alienate himself from the Bengali culture, he surrounds himself with the American lifestyle. His attempts to break free from Bengali practices and way of life subsequently leads to a divide in his relationships, rituals and restrictions. Gogol’s relationship with his parents is fairly distant, as he sees them, and rightfully so, as the embodiment of Bengali culture. His yearning to adopt American culture, evident within the music he listens to, his discussion with friends, and his mannerisms in general, is what causes the disconnect between him and his mother and father. After he moves out, we witness Gogol begin to develop relationships that are more in sync with his identification as an American, including with his girlfriend Max. Furthermore, his rituals begin to depend on his immediate surroundings and whether he is around those that identify with Bengali culture or those that identify with American culture. This inherent truth is also apparent within Gogol’s restrictions; when he goes to visit his parents with his girlfriend, he doesn’t allow her to be intimate with him, but when he is surrounded by those that are “American”, this is not the case. I believe Lahiri experienced a similar sense of divide in her relationships, rituals, and restrictions. As a Bengali who was raised in America, her cultural perception spans a wide range, and although she adopts the qualities and mannerisms of American culture, she doesn’t abandon her Bengali traditions.
ReplyDeleteBefore the death of his father, Gogol’s rituals, relationships and restrictions all conflicted with each other, which led to a stale understanding of himself as an individual. The rituals he inhibited were listening to American rock music, speaking English to his parents and spending time with others instead of his parents as he got older. His relationships with his parents and his girlfriend Maxine spurs the omission that causes Gogol to reject or put off seeing his family while he is with her. Restrictions that instigate Gogol’s life are the inability to blend cultures which disconnect his two loves and forces separation to appease one or the other. While people believe that finding some common ground must be plausible, sometimes the conflicts appear too complicated and cause those to choose between an ultimatum. Sadly, for Gogol, this disconnect is placed upon his parents and inevitably causes his most painful experience, the death of his father, to be even more agonizing as he is unable to comfort his grieving mother. In the actual end of the movie, Gogol meets with that girl that his parents were attempting to arrange him with and they get along well, able to include frustrations of their similar situations to alleviate their judgements and gain better understandings of who they are.
ReplyDeleteAnna Vrountas
ReplyDeleteGogol’s daily rituals were probably mainly American. He attended an American school, lived in America for his whole life, and likely did most things as Americans do. Due to his parent’s immigrant status, his home life and family life likely had many Bengali rituals mixed in. Gogol’s family relationships were heavily influenced by Bengali culture, but his other relationships were likely fully American. Restrictions Gogol faced may have included the implications to his parent’s being immigrants, such as their less than perfect grasp over the language and their heavy connection to Bengali culture. The conflict between the two parts of his cultural identity may have also posed a major restriction.
Lahiri’s 3 Rs would likely look very similar to Gogol’s, with a mix of Bengali and American rituals and relationships. The conflict of her identity as Indian-American may have also been a restriction for her. Because the 3 Rs for both Lahiri and Gogol are shared between Bengali and American culture, both are locals of Boston/the northeast United States, and India/Bengal.
Gogol:
ReplyDeleteRelationships- his parents and their connection to their culture back in India, his sister who is also significantly influenced by America, his American friends, and his girlfriend, Max, who represents the life that he has always wanted
Rituals- following Indian traditions, eating Indian food, returning to India for the summer with his family, and changing the way he acts when he is with Max and her family versus when he is with his own
Restrictions- his ongoing struggle with his name, feeling like there isn't a place for him because of his two different cultures, feeling confined to a strict culture when he is with his parents, and then trying to fit into Max’s family’s American ways
Lahiri:
Relationships- “While I am American by virtue of the fact that I was raised in this country, I am Indian thanks to the efforts of two individuals.” She has a very strong relationship with her parents, who strictly follow the Indian culture
Rituals- following her parents’ customs at her home by speaking Bengali at home, then going to school and following the American culture with her friends
Restrictions: her physical appearance and the term “Indian American”, her love for the two cultures but the constant feeling like she’s betraying one by conforming more to the other
Both Gogol and Lahiri are stuck in between two different cultures, the American and the Indian. They both respected their parents cultures, but had the desire conform to the American way. Their educations, friends, and social pressures aided in their desire to become “more American”. It is apparent that Gogol wants to abandon his Bengali culture when he becomes part of Max’s family. However, when his father dies he comes home and seems to realize the importance of respecting and abiding by his family’s traditions. Lahiri realizes the importance of keeping the Bengali culture alive in her family, she speaks Bengali to her children at home, but also knows that with the death of her parents her culture will eventually fade. Both Lahiri and Gogol understand the what it is like to be in the “grey area” between the two cultures, but also realize that it is possible to have both. You just have to find the balance.
Colleen McConnell
It is evident that Gogol struggled to embrace where he belonged because of how different American and Indian culture are. This leads to his experience of leading a double life/ struggling to find an identity because how negatively he viewed Indian culture. To him it was something that only belonged to his parents and annoyed him when he had to live it. As Gogol begins to grow up he starts to resent his name because it doesn’t fit the American standard. In my opinion he starts to resent his Indian culture as well and blames his parents for asserting it upon him. Gogol is an example how being Americanized can be negative because how it can erase who you are. As an Indian living in America I can somewhat relate to Gogol’s struggle. Like his parents my parents raised me to respect the culture they grew up with. However, like Gogol I was embarrassed of my Indian culture when I was younger. An example of this was when I would call my father “dad” in front of my friends from school and at home call my father “Abba” because I felt embarrassed. As I got older I began to understand that it really didn’t matter how I portrayed myself because I am what I am something Gogol never figured out. Today I embrace my Indian culture and don’t live as what you would call a typical American. I eat different foods, believe in different things, and speak different languages and yet still consider myself American because I’ve learned that being American is an identity not a nationality. I feel like that’s what Gogol failed to understand and ultimately became regretful for after his father's death.
ReplyDeleteThe Merriam Webster dictionary defines the term “bicultural” as, “having or combining the cultural attitudes and customs of two nations, peoples, or ethnic groups.” Yet, as Lahiri mentions, there is no math to calculate how much each culture plays a role in your life. The same way you can derive in math the sum of 6 through many different pairs of numbers, there is no ratio than can guide bicultural children. Instead, they have to take it upon themselves to find a balance in the clash of mentalities between their parents and their environment. It is an evergoing process, that every second generation immigrants have to keep adjusting to as they grow up. That’s why many bicultural children are unable to clearly define their identity, and face a deep conflict trying to find some balance between two different cultures.
ReplyDeleteGogol’s three R’s have changed as he grew up and learned more about himself. At the beginning, he seemed to struggle to figure out his American and Bengali identities, trying to conform to being “American” and repressing his Bengali background. He placed a lot of restrictions on himself due to these pressures, and seemingly, ended up causing a tug-of-war in his mind. By trying to assimilate to the White Culture, he didn’t allow himself to become who he truly is. His preconceived ideas of what it means to be “American” not only stood in the way of his growth, but also put a strain on his relationship with his parents wanting to separate himself from their culture and refusing to see the beautiful aspects his Indian identity has to offer. By trying to conform himself into someone he wants to be rather than someone he is, he gave up parts of himself. When his father died, it was a turning point in his life. He finally realized what really matters. He saw the beauty of his Indian heritage, delved into it and enjoyed it.
Shaped by two different cultures, Gogol’s most important relationships, the one with his parents and the one with his girlfriend, represent his two identities. At home, he eats traditional indian food prepared by his mother and lives with the rituals of his Indian heritage. Proud of their indian roots, his parents taught him Bengali, a language he grew up speaking, although he later abandoned it. On the other hand, his girlfriend represents everything he wants to be. With Max, he can be “Nick”, the American that is completely distant from his parents and their culture. He is able to enjoy the things he always wanted to enjoy as a child, such as celebrating his birthday with a stereotypical American birthday cake and candles.
Jhumpa Lahiri, the author herself, relates to this dilemma. In “My Two Lives”, she mentions that "Indian-American" has been a constant way of describing herself. Just like Gogol, Lahiri was raised in America by first generation immigrant parents. She also dealt with the conflict of being neither fully American nor fully Indian, living in a gray area. This area, is uncomfortable since you are considered Indian in America, and are often asked “Where are you from”, and American in India where you are labeled as “the American,”. Her parents were the bridge that connected her with her Indian background, something she tried to hide from her American friends. Just like Gogol, when she was at home with her parents, she spoke Bengali, ate her mother’s traditional Indian food, and had to also live by the traditional Bengali mentality and expectations. In contrast, when she was out in public, she would try to be “American” not only changing her rituals but also shifting her dynamics with others, and her relationship with them. Today, just like Gogol, Lahiri is not torn anymore between two identities. With time and maturity comes the realization that one can be both, without feeling unloyal to the other.
Gogol
ReplyDeleteRelationships: The way Gogol defines himself through his relationships changes as he ages and with what he wants his cultural identity to be. When he is young he is extremely close to his family, defining himself as Indian through his parents and understanding and respecting their customs. However as he ages he moves away from his parents and his Indian rituals and cultural heritage, having grown up surrounded by American culture and identifying as American because of it, growing distant from his parents who embody for him older traditional Indian values. His need to feel America is so great that he pretty much abandons his family altogether, adopting Max and her quintessentially American family as his own. It is only when his father dies and Gogol regrets having abandoned neglected his family does he decide to be closer to both his family and culture, traveling to India and observing all the traditional funeral rites.
Rituals: Having grown up surrounded by American culture, Gogol has developed a very American mindset to the world, abandoning all of his traditional Indian rituals and embracing a cosmopolitan and typical set of rituals and interests.
Restrictions: For Gogol the restrictions he faces are not racism or bigotry (though those are present). For him, what truly restricts him is an inability to escape his own cultural identity as an Indian. He tries his best to act and be accepted as a typical American but is troubled by how people will always identify him as Indian rather than as a normal person, noticeably cringing when one of Max’s family friends identified him as “her Indian boyfriend.”
Lahiri
Relationships: He has relationships with both her parents and her American friends, each of whom inform her identity as either Indian or American and balance each other out through their presence in her life.
Rituals: She has adopted both Indian and American customs but seems to practice Indian rituals solely in a personal sense, speaking bengali and performing traditional Indian actions only with her parents and family.
Restrictions: She feels a noticeable separation growing up, between herself and the American children around her, feeling that because they practice more conventional American customs and have deep ethnic roots within the country, they are more American and belong here more than her.
As with many of Lahiri’s protagonists, Gogol is fundamentally torn between localities and identities. In America, he is constrained and restricted by his parents’ narrow Bengali social circle and his status as a second generation immigrant, and he also considers himself constrained by his unusual name, which he feels makes him fit in neither in America nor in India. But in India, Gogol is restricted by his Americanness and his lack of true familiarity with Bengali life, and is still othered by his name. Gogol’s relationships were originally tied to his Bengali upbringing and locality, but as he grows older, he tries to break out of that mold by dating Maxine and inserting himself into her family, trying to absorb the relationships of her Boston Brahmin family while also ignoring his Bengali relationships from his family. Finally, Gogol performs the rituals of normal American life, including refusing to speak Bengali and performing public displays of affection with Maxine,until his father dies, when he attempts to reconnect to his Bengali locality through the symbolic gestures of his funeral preparations, including shaving his head and traveling to India to scatter Ashoke’s ashes.
ReplyDeleteI believe that Lahiri would strongly identify with many of the relationships, restrictions, and rituals felt by Gogol due to her experience as an Indian with both very strong cultural ties to her parents’ culture and a very American way of life. Lahiri, at least by the time she is writing her essays and short stories, seems to have made peace with her identity, unlike Gogol’s tortured and angsty antics. She clearly shares rituals and relatinships from both cultures near-equally, dressing in a Western style but marrying a Western man in a traditional Bengali ceremony. I believe her restrictions stem mostly from the systemic bias she would have faced during her years growing up in America. Lahiri has to hide her identity from the children at school, and as a result of being a brown person in white America, hides her otherness as well.
Gogol
ReplyDeleteRelationships: With his parents, Gogol is misunderstood. He feels this way because he does not know until the very end why he was given the seemingly silly name of Gogol. It has great significance to his father, Ashoke, but none to Gogol himself. This is the crux of an ever-widening gap between Gogol and his parents. He makes new relationships in response, like losing his virginity to some random girl at a party. But after coming to terms with his name and origin, the relationship between his parents starts to heal and his destructive behavior ends.
Rituals: Gogol mostly follows his traditional Bengali rituals in front of his parents, like eating Bengali food and, presumably, calling family uncle and auntie. The rest of Gogol's daily physical rituals are not explained very in-depth, only his mental state.
Restrictions: Taiye Selasi brought up an interesting point in her TED talk where Olu is restricted in Nigeria because he's gay. I'm not saying Gogol is gay, only that it is possible to be restricted in some way by an outside party. In this case, it is two: his Bengali and American identities. Lahiri loves writing about identity, so it's only natural that Gogol fights to find himself while attending Yale.
Lahiri
Relationships: Although born in London, Jhumpa Lahiri is 100% Indian-American. Even she admits, though, that "less constant is [her] relationship to the term." Similar to Gogol, she struggled to find her identity in her earlier life, and it extended to how she felt about her family. Her home was Rhode Island, theirs was Calcutta. With time, she came to embrace her origins, took pride in the fact that she could speak more than English with her friends. In this way, her relationships with friends and acquaintances were also affected.
Rituals: Not as strong a connection as her parents in her childhood. She ate Indian food only, while they wore foreign clothing and listened to Nazrul on repeat.
Restrictions: As it is said in Hamilton - Immigrants: we get the job done. But for that to happen migrants must first endure a strange new culture to which they are completely unaccustomed. This is where the connection between Gogol and Jhumpa is most evident, in their confusing and sometimes contradictory loyalties to the old and new country. This in itself restricts Lahiri, like a self-imposed exile; she must be careful doing anything so as to not upset either culture. Eventually it all makes sense and "one plus one equals two," but at the cost of blending these two identities into one local one.
Without a doubt, there are differences between Gogol and Lahiri, mostly in their sense of identity. Gogol considers himself "too American for Indian culture," and likewise "too Indian for American culture," and as a result, is stuck in-between two opposing ends of society, unable to figure out where he belongs. Although Gogol leans more towards America, and wants others to embrace his sense of Americanism as much as he himself does, his relationship with his parents, more specificially with his father, cannot be denied, and his guilt upon the demise of his father makes him continue to remain at least 'part' Indian. As a result, Gogol participates in the 'chudakarana,' or the Hindu tradition of having his head shaved, a traditional Indian cultural symbolism for 'cleaning away the sadness' that arises due to his father's death. This shows that Gogol now fully accepts the fact that he is American, and also Indian, and that nothing can change this partition of his personality that will always exist. Gogol combines his identities, resulting to acceptance, rather than change or denial.
ReplyDelete